We frequently hear individuals discuss the significance of sound communication seeing someone. Be that as it may, what is solid communication and how would you do it? To start with, we need to clarify what communication isn’t. In our work with couples, we hear numerous suppositions and convictions about communication that are undesirable obstructions to further association and closeness seeing someone. Here are only a couple of the unfortunate suspicions we regularly hear:
1. Assention = great communication and difference = terrible communication.
2. My accomplice would concur in the event that he/she would JUST tune in (better).
3. Shouting, or raising my voice, will influence my accomplice to tune in (better) which will then enable them to comprehend and concur with me.
4. Ridiculing or utilization of dangers is the ONLY WAY to influence my accomplice to pay heed to me and tune in (better) which will then enable them to comprehend and concur with me.
5. It is smarter to not discuss troublesome things with my accomplice so we won’t differ and cause struggle.
6. The worries or issues I have will simply leave without anyone else.
Do you perceive any of these? Do they sound commonplace? On the off chance that you or your accomplice has any of these presumptions, at that point this is the ideal opportunity to challenge those convictions and accomplish something else that will profit your relationship. Here are some sound fundamental communication tips you can begin utilizing today:
1. To begin with, before you hop directly into an exchange, we prescribe that you check in with your accomplice to check whether it’s a decent time to talk. For instance, it is ordinarily not a smart thought to raise issues when your accomplice initially strolls in the entryway from work. On the off chance that it isn’t a decent time, at that point plan an opportunity to talk.
2. Concentrate on ONE issue or worry at once. Regularly individuals begin with one issue and after that begin including different issues including things from the past that are now and then not in any case identified with the primary issue. Be watchful and aware of this…it’s an exceptionally dangerous slant!
3. When raising an issue or worry to your accomplice, utilize “I articulations”. This enables you to claim your sentiments and abatements the possibility of your accomplice getting to be plainly guarded. For instance, say “I felt _________ when you said or did___________.”; rather than “YOU made me so (furious, miserable, and so forth)!”
4. In the event that the issue or concern needs to do with your accomplice, concentrate on their conduct that is hazardous. Kindly don’t assault them as a man.
5. Roll out solicitations for improvement, not requests.
6. Attempt to talk about issues and out of this world up or in a convenient way as opposed to restraining them and utilizing them for an assault later.
7. Keep in mind that everybody has their own particular convictions, musings, recognitions, sentiments, and “certainties” in regards to an issue or concern. Accordingly, when tuning in to your accomplice, get inquisitive about their “truth” rather than attempting to persuade them that your “truth” is all the more “genuine” or imperative.
8. When tuning in to your accomplice, advise yourself that you didn’t (and can’t ever) cause your accomplice’s sentiments. Along these lines, there is no compelling reason to get guarded. They are quite recently uncovering and communicating their recognitions, sentiments and “realities” to you.
9. Make inquiries, if necessary, to enable you to comprehend your accomplice’s view of the issue/concern.
10. At that point once you comprehend, whole it up and let them know you got it! Keep in mind, understanding their observation and “truth” does NOT mean concession to your part.
Work on utilizing these tips on everyday schedule with unbiased discussions (i.e. your day at work, your fantasies in life, and so on.). Kindly don’t endure to attempt them amid your next contention. Keep in mind the idiom, “Careful discipline brings about promising results”. In the event that you discover you require help with these communication abilities, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with us to plan an arrangement. One month from now, we will concentrate on the critical abilities of arranging and bargaining seeing someone. We trust this makes a difference!
